: D Smile : D

its almost graduation

2006-04-24T00:36:28Z

WOW!! Prom is officially over! So that means graduation is creaping up on us. That makes me nervous and excited and so many things still to do! Prom was amazing... very fun! I love my friends and everyone that means anything to me. It was awesome!! THANK YOU!
Just a thought:

I don't understand...
Why cancer hurts so badly
Why people let their hearts be broken
Why people underestimate the impossible

But most of all
Why the good die young
Why criminals are not punished enough
Why people never take the time to enjoy life
Why you can never have what you want

What I understand the most is
why we smile
Why we love
Why the sun comes up
Why the world continues to turn when we do not.

lindy_06 @ 2006-03-12T20:10:00

2006-03-13T02:18:49Z

Why are we overcome with fear?
What if I told you that fear isn't real.
Why are we overcome with death?
What if I told you my friends your doubt
You could live without!

There is a question I want to understand
Why can't everyone tell the truth and learn to love again

Do you know...what it feels like to be broken and used
Scared and confused
Yes I know

One more question...I know time is dear
Is what the world speaks of love really real?
The answers not of this world but very clear
Look above to find love and you found eternal life

Street corner preachers you've heard before
Friendly advice just gets thrown out the door
There is a question that I want to understand
Why can't everyone tell the truth...and learn to love again

Do you know...what it feels like to be broken and used?
Scared and confused
Yes I know...what it feels like to be broken and used
Scared and confused
Yes I know

I'm Broken!

... wow one day the words are given right to me, how can i be so blind.
but this is so true to life!

48 days!

2006-03-08T21:21:39Z

I have 48 days left of my high school life! It is truely amazing I never imagined making it this far! I can start to see the end, joyous for summer but after that things will be a lot different! I will still have my friends but I will be gaining new ones, which i am so excited for! I will be 45 min from both my cousins and aunt which will help in a lot of different ways. There will be no more high school drama! After this week this will be easier too as i don't have to take ITEDs this YEAR!! YAY! I will get to sleep in and have short classes yay for being a senior. All of our remodeling is almost done I love having my own bathroom and cable : )
YAY for my prom dress; it is being shipped today : )
NEH for my eye, but hopefully it will be better tomarrow or i will be going to the dr.
YAY To life
NEH to never getting what you want in life but i will still live
YAY to having a prom date : )

SMILE~

I will leave with lyrics from my new favorite song THANKS TO KATIE : )

Oooo I wanna be girl let me be
I wanna be everything your man's not
And I'm gonna give you
every little thing I've got
Cause you are more than a man needs
That's why I say you're truly my destiny
I'm gonna get cha
If it takes me until forever
No you don't feel me
if forever turns into never
I'll let you know my love
is just that strong
And for you never just ain't that long (ohh TK)

wanna be the smile
you put on your face
I wanna be your hands
when you say your grace
I wanna be whatever
is your favorite place, oh
I just wanna be close
I wanna be the hat you put on your head
I wanna be the sheets
you put on your bed
I wanna be the skirt
wrapped around your legs
Oh, I just wanna be close

And even if the day turns into night
I will love you by candlelight
And even if the water starts to run over
I'll be there to put you on my shoulder
And if it's hard for you to get to sleep
I will sing you a melody,
I wanna feel this way
Till the end of time, cause I pray one day
That you will be mine

I wanna be the smile
you put on your face
I wanna be your hands
when you say your grace
I wanna be whatever
is your favorite place, oh
I just wanna be close
I wanna be the hat you put on your head
I wanna be the sheets
you put on your bed
I wanna be the skirt
wrapped around your legs
Oh, I just wanna be close

See my life's filled with up and downs
I'm ok when you're around
And when I'm in a storm
and my nights are cold
Reach out your hands for me to hold
See you're my queen on a throne
and you're the reason
For a song and I can't wait
to fill you up with love
Fill you with love

I wanna be the sun,
your stars, your moon
I wanna be a hot summer day in June
I wanna be the smell
of your sweet perfume
I just wanna be close
I wanna be the seed
That bare your life brand new
I wanna be the one
that's so faithful and true
I wanna be the man down that aisle
in that suit, yes
I just wanna be close (ohhh TK)

TOODLES : )

Interesting

2006-02-20T04:44:42Z

Girls are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. The boys don't want to reach for the good ones because they're afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead they just get the rotten apples that are on the ground, that aren't as good, but easy. So the apples at the top this that there is something wrong with them, when in reality, they are amazing. That is why we just have to be a little patient and the right boy, the one who takes a chance to find the good, right apple, will come someday...

"Expect to have hope rekindled. Expect your prayers to be answered in wondrous ways. The dry seasons in life do not last. The spring rains will come again"

.... I found this tonight and just thought it has fit life perfectly lately...

hello

2006-02-19T17:57:00Z

We have had yet another snow day!! YAY!! The coldness and snow really sucks though, but life is GOOD! I just really never know what is going to happen next but i guess that is the fun in it. Little crushes make me smile... Someone once told me you still know what you are doing when you, well aren't all there. I think that is probably true and it makes me smile. Second semester is going really fast... I can't wait for summer and then off to college.. oh how times have changed : )
Toodles

: )

2006-01-11T03:33:50Z

Hey Everyone--
I haven't written in here for a while and am looking for any excuse not to study for semester tests. Only Anatomy and AP Gov tomarrow : ( Blah, but I don't have to see the school till noon so that helps yippy! Last day of an open period though tear!! Life is Great! I don't really know that much Christmas is over and the first smemester is over which means college is almost here : ) I don't really know of one thing other than friends that I will miss. Our house is going to look a lot different here in a couple months as well. YAY. we are remodeling our bathroom as well as our garage (just insultaion and such) But that means a week with no shower... PEWWW!! haha The boys are swimming pretty well. They have had quite a few meets in the last week. IDK anything else so Toodles!

HAPPY NEW YEAR

2006-01-02T04:03:32Z

IT IS JANUARY 1!!! YAY... You always imagine as a kid what you will be like and how life will be when you get to be a certain age. For me it was definately the age I would be done with school... It is crazy six more months!! It is amazing at how much happens in that amount of time. Everyone hold on this next semester is about the be the best of all of them and the fastest : )
Break has been good I have gained a lot from life. I know who is really there for me now. Something everyone should know.
Everyone you know who you are... A BIG THANK YOU TO YOU! : ) you got my back, I definatly got yours. I am so ready for college : ) yay
Toodles!

Merry Christmas

2005-12-21T03:22:31Z

I am in Christmas break mode: ) even though we are sill a 1/2 a school day away. It is such a weird feeling though to have all the college kids back and know you are the one that is going to be back next year : ) oh yay fun times :) YAY to everyone who is back : ) MERRY CHRISTMAS!! HAPPY HOLIDAYS! : )

YAY

2005-12-14T16:20:32Z

today is the first SNOW DAY OF THE YEAR!! YIPPY!! CELEBRATE!

Its begining to look a lot like....

2005-12-09T02:13:21Z

CHRISTMAS!!! YAY! Tomarrow is friday thank you!! Only I probably won't be so happy getting up at 4:30 but o well, too bad! : ) have a good night everyone just think it is almost Christmas and that means there is a break!! : ) YAY

it has been a while

2005-12-04T04:12:20Z

soo, i don't know if i know too much more. I think I have decided on a college though so I guess that is exciting. It is almost Christmas : ) The best time of the year, the older I get the more I love it. Yay For Angela I would give anything to go to New York for the lighting of the Greens and then to Jamaca! I am so amazed and proud to have what I have today. Yet still wondering what is out there for me. I finally get to sleep in tomarrow.So I think that is about all I have to say good night
Toodles

life...

2005-11-18T04:08:06Z

So, One thing that is so so very hard for me to do is look fear in the eye knowing that everyother person has that faith and hope, but honestly it isn't there for me. A surgery might do it but that is what they said the last time and even the time before that. Pnemonia in itself says alot, Graduation... less than six months away, but I don't think you are going to be watching it. Maybe I am wrong but if you are I think it might be from heaven!! Why? But how? I have taken for granted the things I have so close. I have let life pass so quickly!! The only granddaughter in your eyes. My first trip to the Dairy Queen in your bright red rambler, no one will let me live that down. And then the time I told you it was going to rain on our way home, and you certainly didn't believe me, but why is it we had to stop to put the top but before we even got home?.. haha
it isn't only that though why do families have to be so disfuncional? So many decsions, not enough time. I feel like everyone has to gang up on one person... I feel bad!
But My birthday is complete! : ) You know who you are thank you! 18!!!
Toodles take care!

I'M LEGAL!

2005-11-14T00:54:10Z

hey-- I am a legal adult today :D:D:D:D YAY! It feels very exciting: ) I don't really know that much but want to thank everyone who made my 18th birthday one of the best : ) I love ya all

and once again....

2005-10-29T21:50:52Z

and once again I can say cancer!! UGGH! You can never understand it but put one foot in front of the other and hope for the best, life happens... Friends are awesome! I am loving my senior year, it is hard to believe I am really here... I just wish everyone could realize just how they are precieved. I know I never really have, well up till now. I am glad to have what I do. Someday they will see... BUT life happens and that is what makes us all stronger, sticks and stones may break bones.
Toodles

rained out

2005-10-05T02:59:18Z

THIS WEEK IS HOMECOMING AS WE ALL KNOW!! YAY! BUT TONIGHT OUR SWIM MEET WAS WELL LIGHTNINGED OUT, B/C OF THE STORM THEY CALLED THE MEET AFTER THE BREAK SO WE GOT THROUGH ABOUT 1/3 OF THE MEET. THURSDAY IS CORINATION, I'M KINDA NERVOUS ALREADY. I DON'T THINK ANYONE REALLY REALIZES HOW MUCH WORK IT REALLY IS. : ) GO US! HAVE A GOOD NIGHT EVERYONE. TOODLES!

WHY?!?!

2005-09-24T03:50:40Z

Here we are once again.. CANCER! Why does it have to be such a devistating word? The problem starts to be solved and just when is is almost gone, it comes back once more. Things just continue getting worse, until it is the hospital visit you fear will be the last... the one you can just feel when they won't be walking back out. Why do some go faster than others, and why do so many have to suffer for so long. So close to such a special event and they won't be there... if only he could wait two more months just two, sixty days, for a special memory that would last forever! Everything works in the strangest of ways, but WHY!? Someday I may know or so I hope.

On a happier note, the band is getting pretty good, we might just be ok for contest... 10 more rehersals!! MC is getting better!! I think it will all happen, I can just hope for good stories and pictures : )
Toodles!

SWIM TEAM!!

2005-09-23T02:21:25Z

Tonight was our first home meet!! YAY! We won with fort dodge. My times were probably the best all season... it does wonders swimming in your own pool! I think my new event is going to be the 220 free. I did that for the first time tonight.
That is about it. We have another home game friday night, go us, getting better every week, we will see what happens toamrrow night. I have a free Saturday I am so excited YAY! Have a good night everyone. Oh yea we had our first ap gov test today, it wasn't so bad, at least I thought so we will see when i get it back
Good night!
Toodles!

not much

2005-09-14T00:13:11Z

I don't really have much to say, except the fair is here. I am going to LeAnn Rimes Thursday night. YAY to yummy fair food : ) Lots of babysitting somewhere in there too. School is already getting the best of me but that is alright, just keep going : ) Swim team is going good... we had our fair check today yepp so hopefully everything is good for all of you : ) Toodles

first real swim meet! : )

2005-09-09T02:32:01Z

well tonight was our first real meet! It was pretty exciting! We won! : ) YAY! I'm really excited not that i swam much last year but my 100 free is already 3 seconds faster than last year. I have never seen a team that is more competative within the team as this year is. Maybe it is just because I am more aware of everything that is going on, but there is a TON of competition between us. People are willing to fight to swim their event. I personally just wanna swim : ) Hopefully I can improve my backstroke.
Some other things are just frusterating, but that is ok life happens I guess. I guess I should just realize I'm the oldest child and should just know I am treated like that wether I like it or not. Yippy to the fair starting Saturday: ) yay!! And there is another meet. Have a good night and a good friday EVERYONE
TOODLES

school!

2005-09-08T03:06:02Z

Busy busy busy Already!! We had the pentathalon last night... that was pretty good for me, improvements on all my times : ) We also go our posters back today, pretty cool! We have another meet tomarrow in Emmetsburg and the relay meet on saturday! We will hopefully have one whole song marched on the field friday night under the lights for the first home football game... go US!! : ) I already have two tests tomarrow so I should be going to study, have a good night everyone. Everything happens for a reason
toodles!

a little nervous

2005-08-23T02:22:31Z

Tomarrow is my last first day of school, well I guess untill college. Looking at the summer... It has sure been good, but also has had its ups and downs, which makes me a little nervous to start tomarrow. We will see how everything plays out. No choir for me this year, kinda sad, a bit sucky. I will get more enjoyable classes though. I have open second, the class after band, so that is exciting : ) all the changes will be interesting. Swim team is getting kinda hard.... lots of yards already!! We voted on captains today, They are Emily Rossiter and I, out of nine seniors...something kinda of unexpected I guess. Time trials already tomarrow and the Pentathalon a week from tomarrow already: ) Good Luck to everyone in school!
Big Brother is on tomarrow. They are half way! ~Go Rachel
Toodles

Last night of summer vacation

2005-08-22T04:22:58Z

Well tonight is the last night of summer vacation, WOW! It has gone fast and my senior year has started. We started swim team last week and it is already more positive than last year : ) Practice has and hasn't been too hard for the first week. We already took our poster picture so that is exciting! We vote for captains tomarrow... kinda weird. The pool is almost closing I will miss my big checks but I don't have to work too hard during the school year... I Have saved enough for my car : )YAY
Toodles!

Quiz

2005-08-17T03:37:39Z

How You Life Your Life

You seem to be straight forward, but you keep a lot inside.

You're laid back and chill, but sometimes you care too much about what others think.

You prefer a variety of friends and tend to change friends quickly.

You tend to dream big, but you worry that your dreams aren't attainable.

How Do You Live Your Life?

WOW! I agree very much with this quiz! Don't know if that is a good or bad thing but I agree.

Your Hawaiian Name is:

Alani Lana

What's your Hawaiian Name?

Your Outrageous Name Is

Helen A. Handbasket

Outrageous Name Generator

another song : )

2005-08-12T02:59:41Z

I'm only pretty sure that I can't take anymore,
Before you take a swing, I wonder what are we fighting for,
When I say out loud, I want to get out of this, I wonder,
Is there anything I'm going to miss, I wonder

How's it going to be, When you don't know me,
How's it going to be, When you're sure I'm not there,
How's it going to be, When there is no one there to talk to,
Between you and me, 'Cause I don't care,
How's it going to be,
How's it going to be,

Where we used to laugh, There's a shouting match,
Sharp as a thumbnail scratch,
A silence I can't ignore,
Like . . The hammock by the doorway we spent time in, Swing empty,
don't see lightning like last fall when it was always about to hit me, I wonder

How's it going to be, When it goes down,
How's it going to be, When you're not around,
How's it going to be, When you find out there was nothing,
Between you and me, 'Cause I don't care,
How's it going to be,

How's it going to be
When you don't know me, any more
And How's it going to be

Want to get myself back in again,
The soft dive of oblivion.
Want to taste the salt of your skin
The soft dive of oblivion, oblivion

How's it going to be, When you don't know me, anymore,
How's it going to be,
How's it going to be,
How's it going to be.

words right out of my mouth ....

2005-08-12T02:47:08Z

"Who I Am Hates Who I've Been"

I watched the proverbial sunrise
coming up over the Pacific and
you might think I'm losing my mind,
but I will shy away from the specifics...

'cause I don't want you to know where I am
'cause then you'll see my heart
in the saddest state it's ever been.

This is no place to try and live my life.

[Pre-Chorus]
Stop right there. That's exactly where I lost it.
See that line. Well I never should have crossed it.
Stop right there. Well I never should have said
that it's the very moment that
I wish that I could take back.

[Chorus]
I'm sorry for the person I became.
I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I'm ready to try and never become that way again
'cause who I am hates who I've been.
Who I am hates who I've been.

I talk to absolutely no one.
Couldn't keep to myself enough.
And the things bottled inside have finally begun
to create so much pressure that I’ll soon blow up.

I heard the reverberating footsteps
sinking up to the beating of my heart,
and I was positive that unless I got myself together,
I would watch me fall apart.

And I can’t let that happen again
‘cause then you’ll see my heart
in the saddest state it’s ever been.

This is no place to try and live my life.

[Pre-Chorus x2]
[Chorus]

Who I am hates who I've been
and who I am won’t take the second chance you gave me.
Who I am hates who I’ve been
‘cause who I’ve been only ever made me...

So sorry for the person I became.
So sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I’m ready to try and never become that way again
‘cause who I am hates who I’ve been.
Who I am hates who I’ve been.

This sums about everything up for me in the last week one thing to the next, just neverending, a week and a half before my senior year and i am just now understanding who is there to back me up and who is there to put me down.